> ASE Labs: FUNNY!!!! (note sexual refrence not intented for kids)

FUNNY!!!! (note sexual refrence not intented for kids)

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the pen is mightyer then the sword Joined: April 17, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 1314 Rep:

FUNNY!!!! (note sexual refrence not intented for kids)

Fri Oct 24, 2008 8:45:03 PM #77473 Perm Link

OK my friend just found this thing and it is FUNNY AS HELL
read the whole thing i guarantee you will like it

~~~~Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "Cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of Cybersex. Then again, maybe he does....

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Wal-Mart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner. It's smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you! Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hands suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

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the pen is mightyer then the sword Joined: April 17, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 1314 Rep:

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Fri Oct 24, 2008 8:45:13 PM #77474 Perm Link

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly...I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing you hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take of my panties!

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you... ummm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking!

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit! I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately our naked bodies pressing each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover!

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know...thing...in your... you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around, an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener is all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh nooooo!

Sweetheart: Bye!!!~~~~

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zlHaSeO-x zlHaClk-x

OHEMGEE POKÉMAN Joined: June 28, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 1668 Rep:

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Fri Oct 24, 2008 8:48:05 PM #77475 Perm Link

Wow interesting and pointless thread .

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Elementary Joined: May 12, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 12821 Rep:

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Fri Oct 24, 2008 8:49:13 PM #77477 Perm Link

dont be mean let the love flow (im starting anew)

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There is no certainty, only opportunity. Joined: September 23, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 75 Rep:

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Fri Oct 24, 2008 9:20:32 PM #77493 Perm Link

lol funny

"No. What you have are bullets and the hope that when your guns are empty I'm no longer standing, because if I am, you'll all be dead before you've reloaded. "

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The Aliens aren't Verbs, They're Nouns! Joined: March 13, 2007 Status: Offline Posts: 2853 Rep:

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Sat Oct 25, 2008 1:10:11 PM #77503 Perm Link

Rofl.
You actually posted something good.

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I took a chance with my heart. Joined: September 16, 2007 Status: Offline Posts: 4510 Rep:

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Sat Oct 25, 2008 8:29:49 PM #77517 Perm Link

Lmao Hilarious post kotensho

You don't love a girl because of her beauty.
You love her because she sings a song only you can understand.

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THE BADDEST FEMALE Joined: October 24, 2007 Status: Offline Posts: 4789 Rep:

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Wed Oct 29, 2008 5:08:29 AM #77891 Perm Link

Yeah that's funny,next time you shouldn't just copy and paste the whole thing.

(하 하) 하루 종일 (니) 니 생각 (뿐이야) 뿐이야 (뿐이야) 뿐이야
(하 하) 하루 종일 (니) 니 생각 (뿐이야) 뿐이야 (뿐이야) 뿐이야

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Joined: March 25, 2003 Status: Offline Posts: 1377 Rep:

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Wed Oct 29, 2008 11:36:51 AM #77903 Perm Link

Old, but still funny as hell.

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zlHaSeO-x zlHaClk-x

OHEMGEE POKÉMAN Joined: June 28, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 1668 Rep:

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Wed Oct 29, 2008 11:42:22 AM #77904 Perm Link

Wow that was epicly funny XD * I'm logging off * XDDDDDD

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SorrowsVengeance

the things we do for those we love Joined: October 22, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 6232 Rep:

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Sat Nov 1, 2008 3:16:36 PM #78115 Perm Link

Ok this this proves guys are complete pervs but i have to admit it is really funny.
something like that happened to my cousin about a week ago and she is never having
cybersex again hahahahahah

"Sometimes the greatest tests of our strength are situations that don't seem so obviously dangerous. Sometimes surviving is the hardest thing of all"

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Joined: May 23, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 5815 Rep:

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Sat Nov 1, 2008 3:19:11 PM #78121 Perm Link

wow ... Some crazy crap has happened since i hve last been on....

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zlHaSeO-x zlHaClk-x

OHEMGEE POKÉMAN Joined: June 28, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 1668 Rep:

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Sat Nov 1, 2008 3:21:27 PM #78124 Perm Link

Cyber Sex is weird r.r who would such a thing r.r

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Vincent Valentine

more nightmares will come Joined: April 17, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 3874 Rep:

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Sat Nov 1, 2008 3:21:52 PM #78125 Perm Link

lawl can't keep it up?

It's not what you are doing that bothers me but rather the idiotic way in which you are doing it.
More nightmares will come to me...more than I previously had.

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Elementary Joined: May 12, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 12821 Rep:

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Sat Nov 1, 2008 3:29:59 PM #78132 Perm Link

cyber sexs is for those with no life outside of the computer becouse they arnt atractive or they dont mix well with others

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Joined: May 23, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 5815 Rep:

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Sat Nov 1, 2008 3:32:51 PM #78134 Perm Link

Correction it is for some Horny ass bitches or batards that what it is for >.<

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The Aliens aren't Verbs, They're Nouns! Joined: March 13, 2007 Status: Offline Posts: 2853 Rep:

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Sat Nov 1, 2008 3:38:20 PM #78136 Perm Link

In response to Holmes #78132

Said By Garra_Uchiha
cyber sexs is for those with no life outside of the computer becouse they arnt atractive or they dont mix well with others

For you in other words?

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Elementary Joined: May 12, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 12821 Rep:

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Sat Nov 1, 2008 3:39:25 PM #78137 Perm Link

no I was actualy thanking of you when i said that

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Joined: May 23, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 5815 Rep:

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Sat Nov 1, 2008 3:39:30 PM #78138 Perm Link

huh? I am a little lsot now

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Vincent Valentine

more nightmares will come Joined: April 17, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 3874 Rep:

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Sat Nov 1, 2008 4:22:19 PM #78156 Perm Link

lol epic exshinobi burned garra

It's not what you are doing that bothers me but rather the idiotic way in which you are doing it.
More nightmares will come to me...more than I previously had.

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