wheatly watched as space core floated around him once more. "space space, so much space. we're in space!" spacecore yelled, wheatly sighed. "listen mate, I know you love..." he started then space core said "SPACE! yes space, I'm married, married to who? space, that's who, we got married." wheatly rolled his eye. "yeah, I know mate, you love space but could you please keep it down, I am trying to think of a plan." he said. "plan? plan in space, space plan, space plan for space, we are like space cops, space cops!" space core said. wheatly shut his eye and tried to concentrate on his planning. suddenly an astoroid hit both him and space core, knocking them towards earth. "AHHHHH!" Wheatly screamed "SPACE, FALLING! FALLING THROUGH SPACE! SPACE DEBRIS! WE ARE SPACE DEBRIS!" space core screamed giddily as the both plumetted toward earth. they caught fire as the fell, luckily all aperture science inventions are made to withstand up to 4000 degrees kelvin, so they where safe, but when they hit the ground they went into auto shut down mode.
two people walked over to the crash site, one a scientist, with glasses and a lab coat, the other was a young boy, the scientists son. "what is it dad?" his son asked. "I think it's a part of a satellite." his father said he picked up wheatly and looked him over in his hands. he felt a sharp prick as a wire pierced his skin. "ow!" he screamed. "processing data" a generic aperture science computer voice said. "process complete, if you would like to cancel the sphere to human download program please press the big red button in aperture science labs underground bunker." it said. the scientist just stared at the sphere and said "what?" a wire shot out from space core and attached to the mans son, it began the same process. "the button has not been pressed, if you are not near the button and wish to cancel, please say clearly into the microphone the following word, no." the voice said. "NO! NO!" the man said into wheatly. "sorry, internal microphone has been damaged, beginning sphere to human transfer process." the voice said, as all of the man and his sons memories where deleted and replaced with the AI of wheatley and space core.
Wheatly opened his eyes as the mans body was fused with his circuitry. "legs? oh I have legs? and arms, oh brilliant no more rail for me, oh no I can go where ever I want!" Wheatly screamed. "so, which way do I go!" wheatly said excited. space core jumped up and looked around. "no more space?" he said sadly, then he read a sign in the distance. "SPACE!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed pointing to it. wheatly also read it "Aperture science space program and launch base? yes, aperture sciennce! I'll go there, shut HER down, then i will find that brain damaged mute lunitic and take her portal gun away." wheatly said "THEN I GO TO SPACE!" Space core screamed. "yep, then I take you and all those other annoying cores and shoot them into space." wheatly said smacking space core in the back of the head. "god I love having hands to smack you with."
"Space space space, going back to space, can't wait lets go!" he screamed running. "WAIT, WE DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO TO GET THERE!" wheatly screamed then he noticed something. "oh I guess we just follow the rail, HEY SPACE CORE FOLLOW THE RAIL!" wheatly said running after him.
"alright lets see." wheatly said looking at the door, it was locked. "ok now space core, I need you to look away, this is a delicate procedure." he said as space core turned away and closed his eyes, making believe he was still in space, wheatly smashed his elbow into the glass window on the door. "there we go, all done." he walked in and looked at the counsel that read main control. "hmmm. alright I'm pretty sure one of these buttons will take us to glados' chambers." he said "and one will take us to..." space core said, then he started hyperventilating for a few seconds "...SPAAAAAACE!" he said jumping up and pressing all the buttons. "NO WAIT WAIT DON'T!...actually that's what I was gonna do." wheatly said, helping him push all the buttons. "you have pushed to end of humanity button, in order to repopulate with super intellegent humans life forms, aperture has designed this button to turn all AI cores, including the master core, into human forms, to ensure the human race live on in whatever god forsaken world you now live in." a voice said. "begining full AI human tranmagrification now." space core jumped up and down as he continuesly pressed the space button on an old computer keyboard, wheatly just stood at the consual saying "ops."
wheatly and space core where grabbed by wires and drained from their borrowed bodies, they where then placed into their official aperture science genetically altered human bodies, designed to hold the intellect and special abilities of an aperture science core, it even retained the ability to be resestent to high amounts of heat. they stepped out of the machines that had held their bodies and looked around. "where are we, are we in space?" space core asked. wheatly stepped out, but then slunk back into his pod as he saw glados standing in the middle of the room smiling evily. he shut his door and slunk down "don't notice me don't notice me don't notice me. "WHEATLY! WE AREN'T IN SPACE! I WANT TO GO TO SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!" space core yelled opening wheatlys pod. "I AM TRYING TO HIDE YOU IDIOT!"
"gotta face your fears there bucko!" a formiliar voice said.
"oh god, not you." wheatly said.
"Fact, rick is wrong, hiding is perfectly natural, unless you are hiding from a carniverous beast, then you are a whimp." fact core said standing next to rick. "also I am more handsome then all of you."
GLaDOS laughs madly at this, "hello idiots~!" she chimes " miss me~? because i could kiss each and every one of you right now for giving me what i've wanted! i can go anywhere i want whenever i want and i've even got a portal gun to do so"
she cackles at this " so which idiot helped me with world domination hm? which moron do i have to thank?"
"I AM NOT A MORON!" Wheatly said running up to glados.
"whoa man, are you gonna fight a girl? thats....ok I know it's your thing but come on guy, girls are small and dainty, and need protecting."Rick said.
"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!" wheatly said.
"fact, it is impossibly to shut a human mouth. humans must always breath with their mouths open, unless they have a contraption klnown as a mouth shutter." fact core said.
"hey glados, I went to space! have you ever been to space? I was there once."space core said running over to glados and jumping up and down.
"see what I had to deal with for all those years?" wheatly said.
GLaDOS rolls her eyes and points her portal gun above and below wheatly, shooting portals.
" i do with you'd quit your whining wheatley, it makes me want to disect you to see if there's any circuitry inside that body of yours that shuts you off" she groans, rubbing her temple " and really, i was going to offer you some cake but i think i'll leave you in there and eat it all mysel" GLaDOS shrugged?
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" wheatly started to scream, then he had an idea. "haha, portal guns canel eachother out, wheatly one, glados zero." wheatly said as he shot the portal down, canceling glados' portal and causing him to smash into the ground at a force equal to hitting the ground after free falling, luckily aperture science humanoid bodies where designed to withstand such impacts, but it also is equiped with human nerves, so it was extremly painful.
"ohh, ouch friendo, looks like that's 1 glados, zero wheatly." Rick said.
"fact...rick is actually right this time." fact core said reluctently.
"congrats al salvidora, you got a fact right for once." rick said.
"fact: rick is a pompus asshole."
"what kind of cake? space cake? is it space cake flavored? oh yes, space cake."Space core asked.
"ingrediants for space cake
2 teaspoons flour, seven cups milk, eighteen lbs of stardust, five black holes, seventeen pinches of comets, one hundred trillion tons of white chocolate icing." cake core began to say.
GLaDOSlaughs "thank you rick, both you and cake have been my favourites.... although anger will always come out on top" she shrugs " and if you honestly think i DIDN'T knis that, then you're a bigger idiot than i thought" she scoffed.
" never mind the fact that i think about you at all" she shuddered " i do wish your idiocy would stop trying to get into my head!" she huffs, taking a seat in what seems to look like a throne, a plate of cake on the arm of it.
she sits down elegantly and picks up the plate " i suppose you won't bw needing this after all then" she grins as she takes a small bite.
no thank you, because while I was scientifically figuring out exactly which button I should press to turn us all human, I also rewrote the entire building, I am now in full control...of half the facility." wheatly said proudly "this half to be precise. I'd love to tell you how I did it but it's all vary scientific and your feable mind might not comprehend it." wheatly said.
"we pushed all the buttons including....SPACE!" space core said.
"oh what's that?" curiosity core said "whats space, is it big?"
"it's the biggest!" space core said.
"oh cool, is it pretty?"
"it's EVERYTHING! space is space and space cops and space dad and the sun! SPAAAAACE!" space core said jumping up and down.
"SPACE! teehee. sound neat, ohh whats that?"curiosity core said grabbing a peice of cake and looking at it wierd.
"that's space cake. it's cake made of space." space core said.
"oh space cake." curiosity core said eating it. "yummy, it's good, hey you on the throne you are that lady, the one who was angry. you are the lady I was on then that girl broke me off you and threw me into a fire. hi lady."
"wheatley please be aware i can take the facility back at any time i like~! i know every code and formula that runs this place. but i'll let you keep this area for now.... it'll be like a new experiment" she laughed.
" and yes i am curiosity~ hello to you too" GLaDOS said, smiling "now if you'll please all leave the room for a moment? i have to program a few things here, i'll be doing some programming in every room of the facility so feel free to ignore it if i'm doing that, it's just mostly helping our life span, or well, my life span to exact" she shruggs " i could kill any of you off when you stop being entertaining~!"