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I made a poem

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Lets all die! Joined: July 20, 2009 Status: Offline Posts: 813 Rep:

I made a poem

Sun Oct 2, 2011 4:58:23 PM #211064 Perm Link

The Things In Your Dreams

Once on a street of elm
Were 2 very different realms
When children slept
Adults wept
As all were swept away
So now I give this warning true
The nightmare might come to you........

By The Drifter & nandattebayo

Edited at Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:14:53 PM

There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit,
and the vermin of the world who inhabit it-but not for long!

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La-Z-Boy Armchair Joined: April 6, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 202 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:02:23 PM #211069 Perm Link

The second to last line doesn't sound right.

Good job otherwise.

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Lets all die! Joined: July 20, 2009 Status: Offline Posts: 813 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:03:58 PM #211071 Perm Link

i know but its kinda artsy SORTA and i couldnt think of anything else plz rate it on the poll

There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit,
and the vermin of the world who inhabit it-but not for long!

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Elementary Joined: May 12, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 12821 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:04:20 PM #211072 Perm Link

it is AABBCDD which isn't a normal format for a poem.

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Lets all die! Joined: July 20, 2009 Status: Offline Posts: 813 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:05:42 PM #211073 Perm Link

Exactly!!!!
ever hear of Dr.Suess

There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit,
and the vermin of the world who inhabit it-but not for long!

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ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ᴍᴇ ᴄᴏɴqᴜᴇʀ Joined: December 5, 2010 Status: Offline Posts: 5190 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:07:32 PM #211074 Perm Link

I love Dr. Seuss. Your poem is quite good.

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La-Z-Boy Armchair Joined: April 6, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 202 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:07:52 PM #211075 Perm Link

In response to Mr.Insanity #211071

Said By The Drifter
i know but its kinda artsy SORTA and i couldnt think of anything else plz rate it on the poll

Perhaps:
So now I give this warning true

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Lets all die! Joined: July 20, 2009 Status: Offline Posts: 813 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:08:05 PM #211076 Perm Link

Thanks Charlie Space guy

There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit,
and the vermin of the world who inhabit it-but not for long!

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Lets all die! Joined: July 20, 2009 Status: Offline Posts: 813 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:08:54 PM #211077 Perm Link

In response to Armature #211075

oooooo thats good can I use that?

There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit,
and the vermin of the world who inhabit it-but not for long!

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ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ᴍᴇ ᴄᴏɴqᴜᴇʀ Joined: December 5, 2010 Status: Offline Posts: 5190 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:09:45 PM #211078 Perm Link

Girl actually, but that's ok.

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La-Z-Boy Armchair Joined: April 6, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 202 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:10:38 PM #211079 Perm Link

In response to Mr.Insanity #211077

idrc

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Lets all die! Joined: July 20, 2009 Status: Offline Posts: 813 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:10:49 PM #211080 Perm Link

idrc?

There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit,
and the vermin of the world who inhabit it-but not for long!

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Lets all die! Joined: July 20, 2009 Status: Offline Posts: 813 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:12:18 PM #211081 Perm Link

oooo i dont really care?

There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit,
and the vermin of the world who inhabit it-but not for long!

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La-Z-Boy Armchair Joined: April 6, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 202 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:13:05 PM #211083 Perm Link

I don't really care

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Elementary Joined: May 12, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 12821 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:20:54 PM #211090 Perm Link

in the waking realm
all is safe on Elm
but when you go to sleep
you best not make a peep
when Kruger shakes your hand
you know your life's been canned
stay awake and your life is sure
but fall asleep and wake no more.

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Lets all die! Joined: July 20, 2009 Status: Offline Posts: 813 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:23:01 PM #211093 Perm Link

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMNNNN DUUUUUUDE THATS FREEKING AWESOME

There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit,
and the vermin of the world who inhabit it-but not for long!

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Elementary Joined: May 12, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 12821 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:24:02 PM #211095 Perm Link

I am pretty good at poetry, it is a gift, and a curse.

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Lets all die! Joined: July 20, 2009 Status: Offline Posts: 813 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:27:02 PM #211099 Perm Link

why would it be a curse

There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit,
and the vermin of the world who inhabit it-but not for long!

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Elementary Joined: May 12, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 12821 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:30:06 PM #211102 Perm Link

because when people do their own poems I end up telling them what they should have done to make it better and then they think I am a show off, so mostly I don't help others with their poems, then when we do do poems they think I am not a good friend for holding back.

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Lets all die! Joined: July 20, 2009 Status: Offline Posts: 813 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:31:13 PM #211104 Perm Link

Oh ok then

There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit,
and the vermin of the world who inhabit it-but not for long!

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Elementary Joined: May 12, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 12821 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:33:13 PM #211107 Perm Link

oh also when people make fun of songs It really upsets me when people mess up to rhyme, then I either keep my mouth shut or interupt and fix it so it sounds better.

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Lets all die! Joined: July 20, 2009 Status: Offline Posts: 813 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:34:17 PM #211109 Perm Link

I see you should do some about the greatest piece of literature Alic In Wonderland

There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit,
and the vermin of the world who inhabit it-but not for long!

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Elementary Joined: May 12, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 12821 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:35:38 PM #211112 Perm Link

the whole thing is a poem, it is an epic poem.

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Lets all die! Joined: July 20, 2009 Status: Offline Posts: 813 Rep:

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Sun Oct 2, 2011 5:36:53 PM #211115 Perm Link

Yes,yes-IT-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just like Nya cat loop for 10 hours

There's a hole in the world
Like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit,
and the vermin of the world who inhabit it-but not for long!

Reply Quote Send PM Profile

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